Some great Mark Twain Quotes (Thank you Hy Cooper for this!)
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.
The lack of money is the root of all evil.
The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.
Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native criminal class except Congress.
Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Don't let schooling interfere with your education.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight; it's the size of the fight in the dog.
If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
I've never let my school interfere with my education.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
Buy land, they're not making it anymore.
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
Better a broken promise than none at all.
When in doubt tell the truth.
What would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, mighty scarce.
The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
A classic is a book which people praise and don't read.
Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.
I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.
Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.
I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.
There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.
I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.
I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping.
There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.